I run a group that requires no membership fees and I want to keep it that way. I realize that people don’t commit to things as much when they are free. We have a monthly particpation fee and they get removed if they go three months without participation, but there are SO many that repeatedly RSVP and never show up. I’m so tired of this. What can I do?
You Are Not Alone
What you’re describing also happens in groups that have membership fees. Many group leaders experience this same problem in one way or another. Leaders can feel very discouraged and even angry when group members repeatedly RSVP for events and activities and don’t show up because they work very hard to provide engaging opportunities that meet members’ needs. When one person RSVP’s but doesn’t show up, we interpret it as life getting in the way. When a LOT of people RSVP but don’t show up, it makes it hard for members to find connections and hard for leaders to know what activities the group really values..
Showing Up Creates Community
Homeschool families find community in groups and co-ops. A sense of community can make all of the difference in the world to a homeschooling family. In fact, I’d venture to say that one of the most commonly given reasons for joining a group or co-op is to make connections. Community is that important!
Community forms when group members see each other often and interact over common interests. Field trips and group activities provide that opportunity! Groups that do not have a sense of community are transactional.
Think about what it’s like to be a new person who is excited about joining a homeschool group. They’re eager to form connections for themselves and their children, but also a bit nervous about putting themselves out there. They may see an activity that looks interesting and decide to take the plunge, especially if they can see how many have RSVP’d. If the number of people who don’t show up is high, they’re less likely to make connections and become discouraged.
What You Can Do
There are several different approaches you can take to remedy this situation. I’ve listed four possbilities. Choose the action(s) that move you closer to your goals for the group.
Charge an Activity Fee
One option to consider is charging a non-refundable, nominal family fee for each activity. Many leaders suggest $5. As you consider this, it’s important to take into account the structure of your group and how it operates. If you are not a 501c3, then any money you take in must be reported as either personal or business income and offset by expenses on your taxes. You mentioned wanting to keep your group free, so activity fees are probably not something you want to do.
Develop a Policy
Another idea is to establish a policy for removing people who repeatedly RSVP and don’t show up. Determine a threshold for the number and frequency of no-shows that makes sense for your group. Maybe it’s something like “three no-shows and you’re out”. Give everyone who is already in the group plenty of notice about when this will start and why you’re doing it. You don’t need to be apologetic about it. Don’t feel bad about removing people who repeatedly RSVP and don’t show. Don’t spend your time trying to find out why or engage with them. Your time will be better spent by focusing on the members who do show up!
Be clear on the reason you are doing this. It is to make sure that the members in your group are those who are of similar mind. They are intereseted in being a part of a community. Highlight this policy in your group description, information about joining, and every event description so that even your newest members know about it right from the start.
Engage, Engage, Engage
Show up strong for and engage more with your “good people” who do show up. Your time and energy are limited so focus on them. Make sure that someone from your leadership team shows up at every event and has a goal of engaging every other person that shows up. Remember how you feel when you show up and someone introduces themselves, greets you personally, and says they’re glad to see you? Do that. People will remember how you’ve treated them and you’ll be modeling the behavior that you hope to see from your members.
Have Members Plan Activities
This one is a little bit harder to implement unless you’ve first built at least a bit of a sense of community. If you don’t have community yet, consider making this a goal to strive for. The idea is that the leadership team sets the guidelines for activities and events and then engages the members to do the planning! Some groups achieve this by requiring a volunteer commitment. It could be as simple as planning one activity each year. This will, of course, require that the leaders support and oversee the members who are planning. One huge plus for this approach is that investing their own time and energy in the group will help develop a stronger sense of community. Another plus is that you are beginning to nurture new leaders for your group.
Making a Choice
These are some of the most common approaches to addressing the problem of high RSVP rates and low attendance. Think about what your overall goal is for your group. A transactional group may be just what you want. If so, implement a solution that helps you achieve that goal. If you want to create community, take a moment and try to describe what achieving that goal that might look and feel like to members. Choose the solution that will get you moving toward that vision.
Be kind to yourself. Leading a homeschool group is not for the faint of heart. You’re doing a great job!